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The Chandler Bing's Mindset

Writer's picture: The Dysania ConceptThe Dysania Concept

From ‘The One with the Embryos’ in Friends (1994-2004)


In one of his latest interviews, Matthew Perry said, “When I die, I don’t want Friends to be the first thing they mention. I want helping people to be the first thing that’s mentioned,” but what he might not have realised is that by bringing Chandler Bing to life, he created and shared so much help, love and endless laughter. Everyone who has watched Friends knows about Chandler’s healing superpowers, where a sarcastic comment or facial expression can inspire so much in anyone. And, despite only being the tip of the iceberg of how Matthew helped the world be a better place, it seems like a good one to reflect upon. So, in this edition of The Mindsets, we’ll explore the qualities, virtues and skills Chandler Bing has that enable him to be a role model to all of us who are working our way to become the best versions of ourselves.


1. Embrace Himself


Chandler teaches us the importance of embracing ourselves for who we truly are. No matter how tough, stressful or complicated the situation, Chandler always chose to be himself. By journeying from having commitment issues to marrying Monica and having twins with her, Chandler showed us how embracing ourselves and our weaknesses can create a life where every day we can let go and be who our mind and heart tell us to be. Moreover, he taught us the value of laughing at ourselves. Whether when we make mistakes or while working on our weaknesses, laughing at ourselves will always make life's path more fun by filling it with smiles and laughter, even in our worst times. So, as Chandler teaches us, don’t reject who you are but embrace it. Trust what your mind and heart tell you. Dance like no one is watching. Enjoy every step of the process with the ones who surround you and, most importantly, yourself.


2. Supportive


Chandler’s endless support for his friends teaches us the value of inspiring hope and good in others. From showing Joey the trust he has in him as an actor and his endless support to Monica while they couldn’t conceive, Chandler is always there to support their friends as well as he can, even though he can sometimes only offer a sarcastic comment. Additionally, the support he provides to his friends often comes from the support they showed to him in the past, as well as his support inspiring them. So, it is essential to note that support is reciprocal, and being there for each other is a commitment one must make to inspire goodness in each other’s lives. Similarly, we must support those we love in their lives. Whether through simple messages or more extensive expressions of love and trust, because being there for each other can only bring beauty and joy to everyone’s lives.


3. Vulnerability


Chandler’s vulnerability teaches us the power of communicating what’s on our minds. As mentioned earlier, by embracing himself, Chandler not only recognises his weaknesses but works on them and, during the process, laughs at them, too. However, a crucial part of his journey to become who he is comes from his capacity to be vulnerable. Expressing how he is feeling, whether stressed, anxious or heartbroken, is paramount to keeping his mind healthy through the struggles and challenges he faces. Acknowledging his feelings and working and learning from them is vital to growth. Therefore, be vulnerable. Take the time to know how you are feeling and work through those feelings. And remember to share your feelings with your friends and be vulnerable with them. Be there for their vulnerable moments, and let them be there for yours.


On the surface, Chandler Bing suggests laughter and funny awkwardness. Nevertheless, the teachings he leaves for us are more profound and often overlooked. His ability to inspire smiles and love by being himself is genuinely exceptional. So, remember to embrace yourself. Being yourself is the best path towards achieving balance and inspiring what you want in the world we all share. Also, be supportive of those you love. The power a simple message of trust or inspiration can have on another person is something we don’t think about often enough. And finally, be vulnerable. Don’t be afraid to share what you feel. Express your emotions, whether they make you smile or cry. Understand them, work through them and, most importantly, learn from them. Now, we invite you to adopt The Chandler Bing’s Mindset as we all work to be the best version of ourselves by leaving smiles, laughter and fun along the path.


So, before we end this edition of The Mindsets, thank you, Matthew Perry, for creating such an everlasting, beautifully inspiring character and for your endless devotion to helping those who needed it the most. Your footprint in this world will always be a reminder of the power of love and hope. As Paget Brewster beautifully said, “He won’t rest in peace though… He’s already too busy making everyone laugh up there.” Thank you, Matthew. Thank you.



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